Tea at the Ritz

Prince William and I were strolling from Buckingham Palace to Marylebone High Street when I thought it would be a good idea, since it was on our way, to stop for afternoon tea at The Ritz. Prince William was a bit cheeky about it, saying how he was a prince and all and would only go to The Ritz if he could live tweet it to all of his noble friends about how commoners do tea and so I said ok. Tweet away. Anyway I’ve copied and pasted his tweets below:

Prince William @imakeyourmotherinlawright live tweeted:

Johnny Book says he’s going to impress me by taking me to tea at The Ritz! IMPRESS?!??! DOES HE NOT KNOW I’M A REAL LIFE PRINCE?!?!?! #weshallsee  #suckitdisneyendings

Apparently The Ritz has a dress code that men have to wear a tie. Told you, Prince Harry. Turns out there is a reason I always dress like Dean Martin. #youwerewrong #annoyinglittlebrothers #kevinyouresuchadisease #flemwad

General buzz among the non-nobles here in the lobby waiting for tea to begin. I won’t remind them I’m used to having tea with THE QUEEN. Wouldn’t want to ruin the excitement of these vassals! #onceinalifetimebutnotforme #iamtherealearlgrey

They just announced our teatime. I might have been trapped in palace walls growing up, but I’m sure the glamour of afternoon tea at my palace was much more splendid than what these serfs are about to experience. Layman? More like lame man. #didnotthrowawaymyyouth #thankful

Walking up the steps to tea at The Ritz. A little discerning to see the general splendor these sharecroppers have access to. And they didn’t even have to spend their lives trapped behind palace gates to get it! #gettingnervous #ohs*&t

Talked to Prince Harry. Told him how these farmhands keep muttering about being princes and princesses for a day here at The Ritz. Says to remember we had a palace full of professional butlers so to wait for service for these nonroyals to get a reality check #whew #thatwasclose #ilovedbeingborn

S.H.$.T. Just had a disgustingly warm conversation with our server. Seems extremely nice. Is treating everyone with dignity and respect. NOT JUST ME!! HIS PRINCE!! #f*&kme #callingmybrothernow!

Okay y’all. Just talked to my brother Prince Harry again! He assures me we still had it better than these commoners because when we had tea they made it really special by pouring the tea through little silver filters over our cups into badass bone china porcelain! #it’sgoodtobeking #simba


#doesanyoneknowcpr!  #myfatherwillhearaboutthis #shouldhavebeenamusketeer

Y’all! Thanks so much for the support! Feeling soo much better. AND PRINCE HARRY IS HERE NOW!!! Came rushing in, reminding me it’s okay that we were trapped in castles because we had our macaroons served on little golden saucers. Just one of the privileges of being royal! #whatsfamilyfor #godonlyknowswhatidbewithoutyou #beachboys

It just happened to me. The macaroons came on little golden saucers. All the plebs got one. It literally just happened to me. #abdicating #f*&kroyalty #goodluckharry #heirandaspare